The Uncensored Honest Truth About Why I Am Taking My First Solo Trip
What I am about to say is not something that I share easily, but I know I am not alone in it and it is important to be honest and genuine. I decided to travel solo because I feel completely broken from a divorce and from realizing that something else which I thought was going to be my answer was nothing more than an illusion. I had lost all direction and I had lost myself.
Rewind one year ago, I was in a completely different place and on the surface I was finally getting everything that I worked my entire life to achieve. I had relocated back to Los Angeles to open up a law firm with a business partner who was like family and it was completely successful within a year. My husband had just joined me from living apart for a year, me in Los Angeles starting my firm and him in New Jersey getting his family business ready for him to take some distance. He had just accepted a position with a company out here that was really providing him with a meaningful opportunity and he was happy – or happy enough – to step away from the family business that had strained our relationship. We had just signed a lease on a beautiful apartment in Santa Monica, California and all of these changes were supposed to make all of our troubles disappear. But it didn’t, and soon when things were the same as they had always been, and there was nothing outside of ourselves to blame, we decided to end our marriage.
Around the time my marriage was ending, I had thought I had found my answer to all my problems, but again this answer was outside myself and outside my control and soon it let me down as well.
After the biggest failure of my life, I really didn’t know how to move forward. So I decided to do what a lot of people do suffering from a broken heart and spirit: escape and travel.
The honest truth is I had tried to find friends to come with me on my adventure because the thought of being with myself for so long was terrifying. I certainly was not enough and I knew it was “wrong” to feel that way. I am supposed to love myself and feel empowered and know that this is the greatest adventure of my life. And there are moments I feel that, I really do. But for those of you that are out there like me, wishing that is how you felt 100% of the time, but know it is more like 10% of the time, know that is okay. That is why we travel. Travel reveals ourselves to us, pushes us out of our comfort-zone, changes us and fuels us. This is why I am traveling solo.
I know most people only like a story about people who are struggling with life, love and purpose, when they know that the happy ending is coming. People love “Wild” and “Eat, Pray, Love” because they know, yes, there is heartbreak, but look it turned out okay. People generally do not want to go on that journey with you unless they know it is going to turn around. Otherwise, they don’t know how long it will take to get to your ending and it may take a long time. Who has that kind of time if you don’t even know what the ending looks like? Well, I don’t know what my ending looks like right now, and maybe some of you won’t want to hear about my journey until it is “done” and I have found my “ending,” but for the rest of you, I invite you to follow me on my first solo journey in real time.
For those of you who decide to come with me, we are off to Iceland and Barcelona. I’ll keep you posted.